Success is sweet...sweet and beautiful.

Ahhhhhhh <3

looking in the mirror used to be torture for me, I hate the person standing there, hiding my body even when no one was around.....That's a low point, when you cant even look at yourself naked.

Now, I can stand there, and feel great.I still have like 10lbs to go for my goal of 130, but that's nothing.It does suck that I cant run to the gym like i used to due to summer time madness in my house.But, im still losing it just by staying on these contraptions i call feet.I try to eat small during the day, and walk up those dreadful stairs every chance i get.I even got down to wearing size 8-9 shorts! WHOOP WHOOP! i blame my hispanic hips for still feeling like a fatty though, no matter how i try to lose some...they just wont go away! And of course the curse of losing massive weight.....STILL FEELING LIKE A FATTY SYNDROME!It haunts me everyday.Yeaaahhhh i can finally look at myself and see the difference, but that annoying self voice of Fat Jonnika comes out and im turn into emo kid, wearing all black to hide behind the pitless color.TRUE STORY! 

get it girl!

After almost a year of kicking ass in the gym...

Im finally under 150lbs!

This is my first EVER tummy showing pic...EVER :) yeah yeah yeah! im freakn stoked that i can finally show some results! WOOT WOOT!

one the greatest accomplishments that i have reached is RUNNING!

At first it was a jog/dying for air/stumbling over my feet.....

Now i can jog/sprint 3 laps without stopping and i can do this for 5 straight miles!

NEVER EVER EVER EVER even before my lovely children could i EVER do that!

And to be a braggy naggy.....IM PRETTY AWESOME!

i still got another 20lbs to lose, and im excited to get there.Thanks to everyone who encourages me,  pushes me and motivates me. I totally got this.

Im stronger than better.

Im stronger than yesterday.

Im stronger than i EVER was.

OBSESSION!

Losing weight comes with a dark side.its the evil twin of acceptance.

its the obsession of not feeling pretty.

Its the anxiety of everyone staring at your stomach and flabby arms while you walk out in the cruel cruel world..EVERYONE SEES YOUR FAT! THEY ARE ALL STARING AT IT!

!!!!!!!!!!!

Its changing your outfit 5 times before you head out and STILL feel ugly as you walk out the door.Its the bad thoughts you think when you see a skinny little bitch passing you by eating a damn ice cream cone, enjoying it!

Im so obsessed with my weight.I hate it.I hate that i still feel like a fatty pants.im constantly looking in the mirror, sucking it in, telling myself....this is where you gotta be! SQUEEZE....right there!!!!! :)

Ive been hitting the gym hard.I even go twice a day depend on how my body feels.Its at an aching stage right now, cause my poor muscles are NOT used to working this hard.Ive been doing lots of arms, squats, lounges, abs, and my favorite...CARDIO!

I dont even care if i look like this in the end.

OK...OK....thats alittle bit too much!i bet she can crack a walnut between her breast..geez!

I want to be toned.I want nice curves and a flat tummy...I even have a little 4 pack going on underneath the flab :)

i do want nice muscles on my arms.THAT I DO WANT!

HA! DREAM BIG HUH! no, thats too much for me lol.

thats what i want! im so sick of flabby arms that haunted my pictures and self pity for years.I want muscles, i want to be able to say....look what i have accomplished....psshht...Michelle Obama aint got shit on me!

All i gotta do is keep truckn, i gotta stay focused and tell that inner fat girl, she is not welcomed her anymore.She can NOT give up!This is for her, no one else.

why didnt anyone slap me?????

Through this journey of weight loss, I have been looking at old pictures of myself.And the one thing that blows my mind is.......WHY DIDNT ANYONE SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF ME?!?!?!  

I was so out of control! I never looked at myself in the mirror cause i was in such denial.I knew i was getting big but HOLY COW! I guess the whole size 16 pants and stuffing my face with chocolate ice cream should have been a crying out for self help! I know having kids gave me an excuse to be fat, but after a year, i should have been more cautious about myself.I felt pretty, so i just let it happen.

This is what i looked like.

  UGGHHHHHHHH! yeah!

I WILL NEVER BE THAT BIG AGAIN!

Ive been really working hard.Ive cut out all junk!! No more chips, sodas, sweets, or my favorite....chocolate ice cream :(

I love food, its so hard to want to eat smaller portions. I wish my metabolism was better.I wish i could eat eat eat and not worry about my weight.My body just doesnt work that way.....

BUT.

I absolutely love working out.

I love to walk in there, the whole atmosphere.The machines, the sounds.People really getting into it.I love to get on that machine, music in my ears and ready to kick ass.I push myself hard.I just dont go there and kinda work out, do a mile here and there.NO! i put that baby on high incline and work it..2...3 miles, i lift weights (not bodybuilder weights, just enough to tone up)

I love to forget about my problems, i dont think about my life, i dont think about anything but losing weight.I encourage myself, i tell myself to push, to go higher, go faster, go longer. I push myself cause i dont wanna think about anything else. I dont wanna dwell on shit in my life.It takes me away.Its part of my healing process. My self healing process.

This is what i have accomplished so far.

Thats the same dress!!!!!!!!

Im started about about 210.

Im down to 155!

I still have another 20lbs to lose to get to my goal weight of 135.

I got this!

i can do it cause im strong.

i can do it cause i want to be healthy.

i can do it cause i know im beautiful inside. 

OHHHHhhhhhhhh IT BURNS!

CARDIO!

OH YES, that bulky machine is BRUTAL!

Ive been doing intense cardio for the past 3 months, and let me tell you.......

THE STAIRMASTER is NO freakn joke!

This is day 2 of trying this out this bad boy, its working!!!I get on there for 15 mins and it has this countdown on there.When i get to 5 mins left.....I WANNA DIE! Im sweating like a waterfall, breathing like a cow and my legs feel like they are gonna fall apart like potato head man about at any given moment.

I always start out on the treadmill.I learned from a couple of well trimmed :) built men, that quality is more effective then quantity. Women lose more when they go slower and harder.

So this brought me to my secret calorie burner bliss.

HIGHEST INCLINE AT A WALK! NO RUNNING!!!!!!

I get on the treadmill at the beginning of my workout.I put it on the highest incline and go at a speed of 3 miles per hour.NO HIGER THAN THAT!I concentrate on my walking.Long strides.I burned 10 times more calories then i have ever done running, or in my case, try to run lol.

It makes me feel so fantastic when i have a person running their hearts out next to me, sweating like a fool, they are at 2 miles @ maybe 100 calories, and then i look at my screen and i already burned that at half a mile......walking!

One YEAR!

That was me, almost a year ago. 

I was a thick chick, all curves and muffin top to go with it.I hated it.I hate when i put jeans on, i had that roll on top.It was embarrassing knowing that i couldnt hide cause well.....you can hide fat! I wave and my arm keep wiggling along.EWWWW! :)

Well, ive been on a hard mission to lose all that weight, its been HELLA hard.Ive gone through yo-yo so to speak diets.Ive lost some, gained ALOT and i hate looking in the mirrors.I hate standing sideways and see that hideous unwanted fat.I hated the person who i was.I havent felt beautiful at all.

Those are some of my new picures of weight loss that ive taken so far.Ive lost about 50 lbs in over a year.Im gonna start keeping track of everything i do, how much i lose and the whole shabang about my new journey

This blog is about  me going from 

thick chick

to

sexy mama